the fear shows up almost every day. so does the reminder.

Almost every day while I'm building Open Day Collective, the same fear shows up right on schedule. Not enough people. Not enough reach. Not enough anything, really, if I let the feeling run its full course.

And then something small happens. A message. A comment. A conversation with someone who says "wait, you feel that too?" and suddenly I remember what actually happens here, which is not the same thing as what my brain insists is happening. The practice works. I've watched it work, in real time, in real conversations, more than once. That's not a theory. That's just what's true.

Here's the part nobody tells you when you're building something. The fear doesn't go away once you have proof. It just shows up on a slightly different schedule.

I used to think something was wrong with me or what I was building.

Turns out it just means I'm actually building something that takes time. Especially in public. There's a real difference between this being uncomfortable and this being a mistake, and I have to remind myself of that difference more often than I'd like to admit. If this were a job project, something I clocked into and could walk away from without it costing me anything, I could see wanting to skip the discomfort entirely. But this is something I actually believe in, not something I'm just trying not to fail at. Which means being seen while it's still unfinished is part of the deal, not a flaw in the plan. Comfort was never a requirement here. It was never the goal either.

My experience isn't a unique one either, which is honestly the whole point. Most of us have been quietly handed the same instructions at some point. Don't talk about the doubt. Just keep moving. Post through it. Smile through it. Whatever "it" is that day.

I'm not really interested in those instructions anymore.

There are days, real ones, where "what's the point" shows up loud enough to drown everything else out. Usually on the days when everything decides to happen at once, because apparently that's how days like to operate. But here's the thing I keep noticing, almost annoyingly on cue. That exact feeling is what brings me back to what I'm actually building.

This is a business. It's also a community, and a media brand, and I've been slowly figuring out that all three of those are true at once, and I don't want to downplay any of it just to make a point about intention. It's not one or the other. But underneath all of it, this is still the thing I built because I needed a way to stop the day from just happening to me. And somewhere along the way, I realized I wasn't building it for me alone. A lot of you needed that same thing, and that's exactly why you're here reading this. So when "what's the point" shows up, that's the cue for both of us. Not to push through and ignore it, but to stop and actually use the thing we're building together. Protect the time. Decide, on purpose, how we want the day to feel instead of just surviving whatever it decided to throw at us.

That's the part that's easy to skip past when you're in it. The fear isn't a sign to quit. It's usually a sign you're standing exactly where the practice is supposed to meet you.

So if today is a "what's the point" kind of day for you too, I see you, and you're allowed to feel that all the way through. But also, maybe this is your reminder to actually open the notebook. Pick the one thing. Protect twenty minutes of your day like it matters, because it does.

You're not the only one who's been told to keep it to yourself and keep moving. I'd just rather build something with the doubt still in it, out loud, than pretend it was never there.

save this as a reminder, for the next time the feeling shows up on schedule.

every day. on purpose. 🖊️